Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, ‘Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?’

Little Johnny waves his hand, ‘Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!’

Miss Rogers:’All right, little Johnny, what is your multi-syllable word?’

Little Johnny says, ‘Mas-tur-bate.’

Miss Rogers smiles and says, ‘Wow, little Johnny, that’s a mouthful.’

Little Johnny says, ‘No, Miss Rogers, you’re thinking of a blowjob”.

A grade school teacher in Kentucky asked her students to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.

Molly put up her hand and said “My family went to my granddad’s farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”

The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word “fascinate, not fascinating”

Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”
The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word “fascinate.”
Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before.

She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate” so she called on him.

Johnny said, “My aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight.”

The teacher cried

One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word “beautiful” in the same sentence twice. First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, “My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.”
“Very good, Suzie,” replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael. “My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully,” he said.
“Excellent, Michael!”

Then, the teacher called on Little Johnny. “Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, ‘Beautiful, …just f*cking beautiful!

One day the teacher decides to play an animal game. She holds up a picture of a giraffe and asks if anyone knows what it is.

No one raises their hand. The teacher says “See it’s long neck? What animal has a long neck?”

Sally holds up her hand and asks if it is a giraffe. “Very good Sally,” the teacher replies.

Next she holds up a picture of a zebra. None of the students holds up their hands. “See the stripes on this animal? What animal has stripes?”

Billy holds up his hand and says it is a zebra. “Very good Billy,” the teacher replies.

Next she holds up a picture of a deer. None of the students holds up their hand. “See the big antlers on this animal. What animal has horns like this?”

Still no one guesses.

“Let me give you another hint, it’s something your mother calls your father.”

Johnny shouts out “I know what it is, it’s a horny bastard.”

Teacher: “George Washington not only chopped down his father’s Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn’t punish him?”

Johnny: “Because George still had the axe in his hand.”

During a children’s sermon the pastor asked the children what ’Amen’ means.

Little Johnny raised his hand and said: “It means… tha-tha-tha-that’s all, folks!”

A grade school teacher in Kentucky asked her students to use the word

‘fascinate’ in a sentence. Molly put up her hand and said, ‘My family went

to my granddad’s farm, and

we all saw his pet sheep It was fascinating.’ The teacher said, ‘That was

good, but I wanted you to use the word

fascinate, not fascinating’. Sally raised her hand. She said, ‘My family

went to see Rock City and I was

fascinated.’ The teacher said, ‘Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you

to use the

word, ‘fascinate.’ Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated

because she had been

burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he

could damage the word ‘fascinate’, so she called on him. Johnny said, ‘My

Aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can

only fasten eight.’ The teacher sat down and cried.

Teacher: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?

Little Johnny: Big hands!

Little Johnny is sitting in biology class, when his teacher states the fact that only humans stutter, and no other animal in the world does.

Johnny raises his hand and says. “You’re wrong, Miss Finch!”

“Really, would you mind telling us why that is Johnny?,” replies the teacher.

“Well, Miss Finch, the other day I was playing with my cat on the porch. The neighbors’ Rottweiler came around the corner, and my cat went “fffff! fffff! fffff!”, and before he could say “Fuck!”, the dog ate him!”

Little Mary Margaret was not the best student in Catholic School Usually she slept through the class.

One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping. “Tell me Mary Margaret, who created the universe?”

When Mary Margaret didn’t stir, little Johnny who was her friend sitting behind her, took his pencil and jabbed her in the rear.

“God Almighty!” shouted Mary Margaret.
The Nun said, “Very good” and continued teaching her class.

A little later the Nun asked Mary Margaret, “Who is our Lord and Savior?”

But Mary didn’t stir from her slumber Once again, Johnny came to her rescue and stuck Mary Margaret in the butt.

“Jesus Christ!!!” shouted Mary Margaret and the Nun once again said,”Very good,” and Mary Margaret fell back asleep.

The Nun asked her a third question…”What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?”

Again, Johnny may come to the rescue.

This time Mary Margaret jumped up and shouted, “If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I’ll break it in half!”

The nun fainted.

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