A middle aged Chicana had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While
on the operating table, she had a near death experience and the Creator appeared
before her.
Seeing the Creator, she asked, “Dios mio, is my time up?”
Dios said, “No mijita, you have another 43 years, two months and eight days to
live.”
The Chicana decided to stay in the hospital and have the works done: face-lift,
liposuction, chi-chi lift, nalga lift and pansa tuck. She was all excited because she knew she had a long life
ahead and wanted to look bien chingona!
After her final operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing
the street on her way to a taqueria, she was hit and killed by a bus.
Arriving in front of the Creator, she demanded, “Orale pues…que paso!
I thought you said I had another 40 years to go? Why didn’t you pull me out of
the path of that pinche bus?”
The Creator replied, “Orale chica, I didn’t recognize you!
Usher and his bride-to-be, Tameka Foster was supposed to wed last Saturday. Unfortunately, the wedding was canceled just hours before the ceremony was to take place. Guests had no idea what was going on at the time as the wedding was just, “called-off” all of a sudden.
The new information now reveals that the wedding ceremony was canceled due to the Usher family.
From The Gossip Girls:
At the time of the wedding cancellation, the guests were left in the dark about why the sudden change. The only public comment was made by a publicist for the R&B singer, Patti Webster, who stated, “It was announced today that the wedding ceremony for Usher Raymond IV and Tameka Foster was canceled. No additional information will be given regarding the circumstances of the cancellation, but we hope the privacy of this matter will be respected.”
Inside sources are now saying that the real reason for the delayed wedding was tension within the Usher family, including disagreements about wedding details between the bride and groom-to-be. Jonetta Patton, Usher’s mother and former manager, apparently doesn’t approve of the marriage between her son and Tameka, and chose to express her feelings clearly.
Also, taking the opportunity to quash rumors that had been circling about recently checking into a hospital for a pre-term labor, Tameka denied the gossip while explaining, “We had a scare. But, I am fine and the baby is fine.”
Leave Your Cell Phone [video] Turn your cell OFF when you’re at a funeral…. or else.
Beautiful Brazilian [video] We love the ‘dow-under’ mate!
Game Over [picture] Sorry, YOU lose!
Chicken Breast [picture] This chicken has a nice set of num nums!
There’s no such thing as “soulmates” [picture] Well duh! Even I knew that!
Why Men Love Female Tennis [picture] You can chop vegetables on her ass.
Mini Michael Jackson [video] Who’s bad?
History Of Video Games [video] 25 year retrospect on the evolution of the video game.
Hilarious Cialis Ad [video] Funny Cialis ad with Cuba Gooding Jr.
Lightsaber Practice [game] Use the mouse to aim at the incoming droids. Click the left mouse button as soon the red target is active to rape/slash the threat. The level will be increased after each 100 pts. You will encounter Darth Maul after reaching 200 pts. The game ends if you slashed Darth Maul. Try to finish the game with highest score. If you get frustrated with the game, try holding down the space bar to enable Jedi Reflection mode. There will be no threat you can’t encounter while holding that key.
Protect The Fire [game] The object of this shooting game is to sink your opponent’s rafts before he sinks yours. Turn the wheel to raise your catapult’s launch intensity, press the launch button to fire away! During normal rounds, you will take turns firing at each other’s rafts. During speed rounds, it’s all out war, go as fast as you can. Be careful not to sink your own rafts – you can try again if you lose a round, but you only get 3 extra tries.
Massage Happy Finish [video] Everybody wants the happy finish.
Christmas Tree Fire [video] Timer shows fire destroying tree and room in seconds. Have a happy Christmas. Turn those lights off!
Carme’s Big Boobs [video] Carme shows off her biggest assests.
Ellen Roche’s Fine Ass [video] Ellen getting out of the pool.
Michelle’s Tongue Tricks [video] Michelle has a special talent… or does she?
Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, “Was I getting in or out of the bath?”
The 94-year-old yells back, “I don’t know. I’ll come up and see.” She starts up the stairs and pauses “Was I going up the stairs or down?”
The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, “I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood.” She then yells, “I’ll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who’s at the door.”
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