I’m sorry but I don’t get how chicks can wear a short skirt, with f”ck-me boots, to a house party. HELLLLO last time I checked, it didn’t say “Club Titty Bang Bang” outside the house! I understand girls wanna be sexy n’ all, but c’mon, we ain’t in a club. There were kids and old foggies hangin’ around! If I woulda known there would of been a dress code (in which I wasn’t told- if there WAS one), I woulda stood outside the front porch to collect the damn fee! Heh’ might as well make some money in the process right? Charge extra to the fat guy standing last in line, wearing a “chicks dig me” shirt…. Collect all the money, give the money to the birthday girl. Save some money for myself, buy a pole and a tub full of petroleum jelly for the next party so that I can raise the entrance fee. =) Eh, just an idea.

For all you shooter lovers out there!!!

Ingredients:

* 1/3 oz. Kahlua
* 1/3 oz. Bailey’s Irish Cream
* 1/3 oz. Amaretto

Instructions:

Layer in order (Kahlua at the bottom) in a shot glass.

SO more than one person has come up to me this week and told me that I need to find myself a good man to marry. Do GOOD men actually exist??

Anyhoot, WHY would I need a good man? Can I not be happy, yet be single at the same time? Just because I don’t have a good man doesn’t mean that I’m not happy.

Let’s say I find a guy who rocks my world. Will it be like magic, where unicorns come prancing around between two hills made out of kool whip??! Will my life just turn all happy and gay and people break out in song like a musical??!

And why the double standards of me having to find a man to just marry? I’m enjoying the single life for now. There’s no way I want to rush things. I’ve learned all that from my mistakes!! Too many heartbreaks for me to go and do that again! Whatever happened to getting drunk and just sleeping around?? That’s fun, no?

Anyhoot, I really don’t mind dating at this time. Although my last relationship hit me hard. Thus my self esteem is low, I don’t drive, AND I’m not good at anything besides dancing. Oh woe is me!! This is why I’m on a diet and trying to get back in shape. Isn’t that what men want? Someone on Cosmo? Or GQ Magazine?

Ok, I’ve done this story before, but I’d like to add on to it…

Kids like to have pinatas on their birthdays. They LOVE to bash pinatas and take all the contents out of it, whether it’s candy or money, or both.

But why bash a pinata with your favorite character on it? I mean, they make Sponge Bob and Superman pinatas and kids beat the crap out of it just so they can eat the insides of their favorite character.

What exactly does this teach our kids?

Why can’t they make a Dead-Beat Dad pinata, or a Cheating Whore pinata. Did they ever even think of the, Uptight Boss, or Nagging In-law pinata??!… NO! So I think there should be some changes.

Does anybody agree with me? =)

DO NOT eat spinach!!!! If you own a bag of spinach; THROW IT AWAY!!!!! DO NOT EAT ANY SPINACH!!! The reason for this is because E Coli has been found in many bags of spinach sold in stores. One person has already died, many are currently in the hospital. If you don’t believe me, watch the news!

Indications of E Coli is vomitting, diarreah, fever, blood in stool, etc. Please make sure to see a Physician if you have any of these symptoms. Trust me, it’s for your own good.

According to your astology sign; Here are some recommended vacations that will tickle your pickle!

Aries (March 21 to April 19)
You Rams are active all year round, and you love being outdoors as much as possible. Skiing, hiking, rollerblading and biking allow you to leave the constraints of work and family behind. For a vacation, consider venues that offer access to being physical in a big way during the day, but also invite Aries to stay up all night. A ski resort or casino hotel might fit the bill.

Taurus (April 20 to May 20)
Like Ferdinand the Bull, your greatest joy is to stop and smell the flowers. You love to kick back and be pampered, and vacations invite you to do just that. Long, leisurely strolls through the grounds of an historic inn or medieval European castle could help a Taurus let go of work. Lolly-gagging at a spa or health resort is also sure to float your boat. Especially if gourmet foods are on the menu!

Gemini (May 21 to June 20)
Vacations that provide plenty of intellectual stimulation are right up your alley, Gemini. Consider heading for an ancient ruin, big city or historical monument. A restless character like you can benefit tremendously from a walking tour. Don’t forget to bring a travel journal and camera with you. Half the fun of Gemini vacations is discussing them with friends and family.

Cancer (June 21 to July 22)
An old city by the water is the perfect vacation destination for a romantic like you, Cancer. Venice, Alexandria or New York are all blissful possibilities. Be sure to get a few good restaurant recommendations before you leave. It’s much easier for Cancer to appreciate unfamiliar surroundings when you’ve got a full stomach. Try planning your trip around the Full Moon, when you’re especially adventurous.

Leo (July 23 to Aug. 22)
You Lions need a vacation getaway that affords plenty of glitz and glamour. An eye-catching creature like you will feel right at home in Vegas, Los Angeles or Monaco. Or indulge your wild-child side with a safari or eco-tour. A trip to an amusement park like Disney World could also bring out the kid in Leo. Make sure you go with someone who shares your love of death-defying rides!

Virgo (Aug. 23 to Sept. 22)
You’re the type of traveler who likes to plan out every stage of your journey, Virgo. An organized tour of an exotic land might be just the thing for you. Hire a local tour guide who knows all the best places to shop, eat and relax. Virgo gets a secret thrill from experiencing the daily customs of a different culture. Exotic countries like India, Egypt or Peru can offer just such an exciting challenge.

Apparently Paris Hilton is in jail for DUI… *shakes head* This girl ALWAYS outdoes herself. I got to give her credit… She sure knows how to get people’s attention!!

Can you also believe that Paris was put into 2007’s Guinness Book Of World Records for “Most Overrated Celebrity”! I swear to god, it’s true!

World famous wildlife warrior Steve Irwin has died in a freak accident on the Great Barrier Reef, killed by a stingray barb which pierced his chest.

Friends believe the Crocodile Hunter, 44, may have died instantly when struck by the stingray while filming a sequence for his eight-year-old daughter Bindi’s new TV series.

The TV star and naturalist’s final, fatal confrontation with a wild animal occurred in shallow water at Batt Reef off Port Douglas on Monday morning.

Unconscious, he was pulled aboard his research vessel, Croc One, for a 30-minute dash to Low Isle, where an emergency helicopter had been summoned at about 11am, his Australia Zoo said in a statement.

The crew of the Croc One performed constant CPR during the voyage to Low Isle, but medical staff pronounced Mr Irwin dead about noon.

Mr Irwin’s death was only the third known stingray death in Australian waters, said shark and stingray expert Victoria Brims.

Wildlife experts said the normally passive creatures only sting in defence, striking with a bayonet-like barb when they feel threatened or are trodden on.

Those with Mr Irwin say he was swimming in shallow water, snorkelling as his cameraman filmed large bull rays.

“He came over the top of a stingray and the stingray’s barb went up and went into his chest and put a hole into his heart,” said Mr Irwin’s friend and manager John Stainton.

Mr Stainton said he and Mr Irwin were in north Queensland to film a new documentary called Ocean’s Deadliest.

“It’s likely that he possibly died instantly when the barb hit him, and I don’t think that he … felt any pain.

“He died doing what he loved best.”

Mr Irwin’s body was flown to a morgue in Cairns, where stunned family and friends were gathering on Monday night.

His American-born wife Terri was told of her husband’s death while on a walking tour in Tasmania, and has returned to the Sunshine Coast with her two children, Bindi and three-year-old son Bob.

The death of the larger than life Mr Irwin, best known for his catchcry “Crikey!”, caused shockwaves around the world, leading TV bulletins in the United States and Britain.

He was one of Australia’s best known personalities internationally and a valuable ambassador for the nation and its wildlife.

Mr Irwin was also a global phenomenon, making almost 50 documentaries which appeared on the cable TV channel Animal Planet, and which generated books, interactive games and even toy action figures.

Prime Minister John Howard, once lauded by Mr Irwin as the world’s greatest leader, said: “I am quite shocked and distressed at Steve Irwin’s sudden, untimely and freakish death. It’s a huge loss to Australia.

Blue Velvet

* 1 oz Black Raspberry Liqueur
* 1 oz Melon Liqueur
* 1 scoop Vanilla Ice Cream
* 1 cup Ice
* Blue Curacao

Blend until smooth. Top with whipped cream and drizzle with blue curacao. You can also drizzle the empty glass with blue curacao for more added color.